Towards Tenderness
Dream On, Volume 10
I am writing this newsletter in the grip of a migraine — and as is common for therapists, I am being asked to practice what I preach — in this instance, self-compassion.
I wrote a piece published in Goop today about why self-compassion — not self-optimization — is what actually supports us in unstable times and facilitates lasting psychological well-being. Rather than repeat what I wrote there, I’d love for you to read it in full if you’d like and then sit with this question:
What comes up for you when you imagine treating yourself with tenderness rather than as a problem that needs to be fixed?
Lately, I have had to push back against my desire to override my current limitations. To soften against the frustration I feel looking at the unfinished to-do list, the sadness I feel at not being able to play a game we call “Feet Come Alive” with my kids in bed at the end of the night like we love to do, and the guilt I feel at canceling dinner plans with friends, yet again. It is tempting to let those feelings dictate my actions — to prescribe steps to push through, steps which fulfill the idea of who I think I should be, instead of allowing myself to be who I am in this moment. Instead I am opting for tenderness, and choosing to trust that a new version of me — one that I do not have to wrestle into existence — is unfolding. Might as well be nice to myself as it does.
Love,
Annie